We’ve talked about the self-defeating nature of our Shit Avoidance Strategies, especially over the long term. Not that they’re totally, 100% bad; they can even be life-savers! But long-term, Shit Avoidance doesn’t help us rise to the challenges of life, fix the problems we’re facing, accomplish our meaningful goals, or grow as a person. At…
Tag: self-help
135) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 14: FACT Exercise #1 — Focusing
I’ll never forget the first time I looked at the moon through a telescope. I was in my early 30s, and after having looked at the moon regularly for three decades, it was like I was seeing it for the first time. The vague spots my eyes could see on their own were now cliffs…
134) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 13: Avoiding the Shit
The key problem with working on our healing, and improving our lives, is that we don’t like to feel shitty. And it does feel shitty to face the shitty-ness of a sub-optimal way of living. Especially if you’ve lived that way for quite a while. Ugh. So, we turn away from that shit. Or more…
132) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 11: FACT cares about your feelings
As we talked about in Part 10 (post #124), Rational Self Analysis centers on clarifying for yourself Who You Really Are. What do you love doing? What interests or fascinates you? What are your values? What would you like to be doing in, say, 3 years? There are tons of “Who You Really Are” exercises…
59) Jordan Peterson, Part 5: The Perfect House Problem; Subsection 2 – In Jordan’s Own Words
Now, I expect a person’s first response to the previous post (#58) might be skepticism. Like, did Jordan really say something like that? All that “shut up” and “crawl back to your holes” stuff? Of course, the answer is no. He said it a lot more nicely. You could say I’m “spinning” it in…
58) Jordan Peterson, Part 5: The Perfect House Problem; Subsection 1 – He Who Is Without Sin
============================================================= Tarantula Identification Assessment Tool Put a check beside each of the following that describes you, at least “somewhat”. – Do you feel self-conscious about your looks? – Do you procrastinate? – Do you criticize yourself? a lot? – Do you watch too much TV, play too many video games, spend too…
47) Jordan Peterson, Part 3: The Bucko Mistake; Sub-section 2: Metaphorically Terrible Advice
Second, the metaphoric. Posture-straightening aside, Jordan’s Rule #1 is obviously about so much more — it’s about being Alpha, not beta. It’s about facing the terrible existential burden of life, accepting your individual responsibility, and applying yourself to the challenges in front of you. It’s about entering situations with confidence, with a can-do mentality. I…
34) Less than half, and none of the important ones: Part 4
What are the solutions? Obviously, “get help”. But that’s kind of a cop-out. It’s not like therapists have a magic wand, and then, Healioso Instantantum!!, and Poof, you’re all better. Therapy isn’t magic. It’s hard work. A therapist is like a catalyst; they catalyze your own self-healing. But they can’t do it for you. So…
33) Less than half, and none of the important ones: Part 3
Another story, after a relationship ended. “She said she had made a list of all the qualities she wanted in a partner. At the end, she concluded, “he has less than half. And none of the important ones.” ……this was the end of my sanity, for a long time. I don’t know why. I just…
32) Less than half, and none of the important ones: Part 2
Imagine a child who is criticized, constantly. Long-term. Made fun of, humiliated, shamed in front of others. “Why can’t you do anything right?” “Goddammit, you’re useless!” “Shut up….you little shit.” They hear that they are stupid, ugly, pathetic, annoying, too loud, too quiet, too lazy, too….x,y,z…. As a psychologist and teacher, I encounter a lot…