Tag: self-help

136) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 15: FACT Exercise #2 — Choosing Meaning over Control

We’ve talked about the self-defeating nature of our Shit Avoidance Strategies, especially over the long term.  Not that they’re totally, 100% bad; they can even be life-savers!  But long-term, Shit Avoidance doesn’t help us rise to the challenges of life, fix the problems we’re facing, accomplish our meaningful goals, or grow as a person.  At…

59) Jordan Peterson, Part 5: The Perfect House Problem; Subsection 2 – In Jordan’s Own Words

Now, I expect a person’s first response to the previous post (#58) might be skepticism.  Like, did Jordan really say something like that?  All that “shut up” and “crawl back to your holes” stuff?   Of course, the answer is no.  He said it a lot more nicely.  You could say I’m “spinning” it in…

58) Jordan Peterson, Part 5: The Perfect House Problem; Subsection 1 – He Who Is Without Sin

============================================================= Tarantula Identification Assessment Tool Put a check beside each of the following that describes you, at least “somewhat”.   – Do you feel self-conscious about your looks?   – Do you procrastinate?   – Do you criticize yourself? a lot?  – Do you watch too much TV, play too many video games, spend too…

47) Jordan Peterson, Part 3: The Bucko Mistake; Sub-section 2: Metaphorically Terrible Advice

Second, the metaphoric. Posture-straightening aside, Jordan’s Rule #1 is obviously about so much more — it’s about being Alpha, not beta.  It’s about facing the terrible existential burden of life, accepting your individual responsibility, and applying yourself to the challenges in front of you.  It’s about entering situations with confidence, with a can-do mentality.  I…

34) Less than half, and none of the important ones: Part 4

What are the solutions? Obviously, “get help”. But that’s kind of a cop-out. It’s not like therapists have a magic wand, and then, Healioso Instantantum!!, and Poof, you’re all better. Therapy isn’t magic. It’s hard work. A therapist is like a catalyst; they catalyze your own self-healing. But they can’t do it for you. So…

32) Less than half, and none of the important ones: Part 2

Imagine a child who is criticized, constantly. Long-term. Made fun of, humiliated, shamed in front of others. “Why can’t you do anything right?” “Goddammit, you’re useless!” “Shut up….you little shit.” They hear that they are stupid, ugly, pathetic, annoying, too loud, too quiet, too lazy, too….x,y,z…. As a psychologist and teacher, I encounter a lot…

31) Less than half, and none of the important ones: Part 1

Have you ever been on the receiving end of someone’s harshness? Criticism? Gas-lighting? Name-calling? Bullying? Shaming? Humiliating? Lying? Well, “sticks and stones may break your bones but words….” Just stop. Right there. Because “words can never hurt you” is absolute, dangerous, bullshit. Words can break your heart, poison your mind, even destroy your life. They…

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