I do, sincerely and excitedly, want to share my story of healing in detail. It’s going to take some time to fully put it together. In the meantime, for this post, I want to share one of the most – stunning – outcomes of this whole experience. Which, in short, is the “spontaneous transformation of…
Tag: personal growth
138) Wow…weird. I healed: Part 2 — The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy of Self-Improvement
It is important to recognize (as I obliquely alluded to in the previous post, #137), that when you are “working on self-improvement” in whatever way you are, even “failure” isn’t failure. I truly mean that, not as some cliché but as a deeply-felt truth. Because “working on self-improvement”, even when it “fails”, keeps you open,…
137) Wow…weird. I healed: Part 1 – The struggle and the miracle
Hello Friend, and welcome back! If you have been following my “From Shitty-ness to Well-ness” series on healing from trauma, I have to apologize to you! I had intended to post the final part of the “Rational Self-Analysis” section already, like, months ago. But wouldn’t you know, the strangest thing happened. As odd as it…
134) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 13: Avoiding the Shit
The key problem with working on our healing, and improving our lives, is that we don’t like to feel shitty. And it does feel shitty to face the shitty-ness of a sub-optimal way of living. Especially if you’ve lived that way for quite a while. Ugh. So, we turn away from that shit. Or more…
133) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 12: You are strong enough
(TW: Description of Torture) Although there’s no denying that life can be hard and people can be saddled with more problems than they can bear, the truth is that most of us are nowhere near to living up to our potential. We know, in some private recess of our consciousness, that if push came to…
124) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 10: Finding out who you really are: Rational self-analysis
The predominant workhorse of the psychological healing world is a family of therapeutic practices and exercises centered on what I call “rational self-analysis”, or more colloquially, finding out “who you really are”. This journey towards “authenticity” is central to most forms of talk therapy, and what most people likely think of when they think of…
110) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 4: Healing, when you hate yourself, think you don’t deserve it, want to die, believe it’s impossible anyway, avoid doing what you most need, and constantly sabotage yourself
When you start to turn towards “healing”, you will very likely experience a backlash. Probably lots of backlashes. You and Mr/Ms Backlash are going to become really great friends, in fact. But first, you’re going to be enemies. Epic enemies. Like, Avengers vs. Thanatos kind of epic. Sparta vs. Xerxes. The Boston Bruins vs. Montreal…
103) From Shitty-ness to Wellness: Part 3 – The Self-Improvement Treadmill and Its Perpetuation of Trauma
I became a Psychologist in order to figure myself out, and my family. I imagine that’s what gets a lot of people’s foot in the psychology-door, initially. You wonder things like, “Why am I (or other people), so screwed up? Why can’t I get myself together? Why do I sabotage my successes? Why do…
97) Dear Abuser,
“What is wrong with you? What is wrong with you? Jesus Christ, what the hell is WRONG with you?” Your words echo in my mind like a beaten child’s wails, their residue embedded in my tissues and tear ducts and neural networks like a terrorist sleeper cell living invisibly in the city they are Heaven-bent…
96) Abuse, Trauma, Shame, and Healing
Hello Dear Reader, In an upcoming series of posts, I am going to explore the dynamics of the inner monster that seems to doom so many people to suffer lives of loneliness and limitation — Shame. As we go through these posts, we’ll explore where Shame comes from, what it feels like, how it…