Tag: motivation

136) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 15: FACT Exercise #2 — Choosing Meaning over Control

We’ve talked about the self-defeating nature of our Shit Avoidance Strategies, especially over the long term.  Not that they’re totally, 100% bad; they can even be life-savers!  But long-term, Shit Avoidance doesn’t help us rise to the challenges of life, fix the problems we’re facing, accomplish our meaningful goals, or grow as a person.  At…

88) Jordan Peterson: Part 7 – Psychology at the Ending of the World; Subsection 2 – The Doctrine of Original Awesomeness

So what’s the alternative?  Do we need more “rules” to help us live like half-decent people who aren’t slobs and losers and depressed and too-agreeable and “weak” and addicted?  Do we need more external authority figures structuring our lives for us?  Do we need more Dad-advice telling us to clean up our rooms, stand up…

74) The Law of Attraction — A Favourite Weapon of Abusers

Ahhhh, the Law of Attraction, that oh-so-lovely-sounding exhortation to focus on the positive. Believe and you can achieve! After all, (Image from https://www.jackcanfield.com/blog/using-the-law-of-attraction/) If you meditate, for example, saying an uplifting phrase in your mind and imagining yourself bathed in a sphere of light, then youʼll be like her: (Image from https://www.jackcanfield.com/blog/using-the-law-of-attraction/) She sure looks…

34) Less than half, and none of the important ones: Part 4

What are the solutions? Obviously, “get help”. But that’s kind of a cop-out. It’s not like therapists have a magic wand, and then, Healioso Instantantum!!, and Poof, you’re all better. Therapy isn’t magic. It’s hard work. A therapist is like a catalyst; they catalyze your own self-healing. But they can’t do it for you. So…

32) Less than half, and none of the important ones: Part 2

Imagine a child who is criticized, constantly. Long-term. Made fun of, humiliated, shamed in front of others. “Why can’t you do anything right?” “Goddammit, you’re useless!” “Shut up….you little shit.” They hear that they are stupid, ugly, pathetic, annoying, too loud, too quiet, too lazy, too….x,y,z…. As a psychologist and teacher, I encounter a lot…

31) Less than half, and none of the important ones: Part 1

Have you ever been on the receiving end of someone’s harshness? Criticism? Gas-lighting? Name-calling? Bullying? Shaming? Humiliating? Lying? Well, “sticks and stones may break your bones but words….” Just stop. Right there. Because “words can never hurt you” is absolute, dangerous, bullshit. Words can break your heart, poison your mind, even destroy your life. They…

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