I’m grateful for aging. Once you become an adult, you spend a few years thinking you’re pretty much still the same as you were before your 19th birthday (yes, 19 where I live…..how can you be an adult if you can’t buy yourself a beer?). Just cooler. Cuz not only can you buy that aforementioned…
Tag: happiness
21) Gratitude Day 2: Humour
I’m grateful for humour. It’s a big part of why hanging out with people is rewarding. It bonds us, lets us step back from hardship for a few moments, brings perspective in the midst of despair, and sometimes, at its best, can build bridges across divides. And it’s just….fun! (Of course, it can also further…
20) Gratitude — Day 1
I am grateful for Slider. I’ve had him since I was 3 or 4, and he’s been in my bedroom (or now, usually my kids’ bedroom, cuz he gets to hang out with their stuffies and go on adventures when we’re all asleep or out of the house….of course….). He is the perfect shape for…
15) Seize the Carp!!
Walking down the street, one of the last sunny fall days. The higher-pitch of a voice that has only been in use less than eleven years bounces up. “Do you….do you ever think about….?” Pause. I lean in, as this seems important. We continue walking…..leaves skittering…. “Do you ever think about how today only happens…
14) Free Sex! Free Drugs! Free Gold Bars!!! And a rowboat…
Did you ever sing Row Row Row Your Boat? Hey, I did too! Did you realize that it held the Secret to Life? Neither did I. Carl Jung, Joseph Campbell and others, showed us that our minds are not our own individual ‘things’, but rather, partake of, are shaped by, and continue to be influenced…
12) Ninja Training, Part 3: My first Habit
To illustrate the process outlined in earlier posts, I am choosing EXERCISE. This is a good one, because I’ve set it before, have partial success usually, but can never make it stick. When I was 17, and spent my summer earnings from McDonald’s on a universal gym that I then built in my mom’s basement,…
11) Ninja Training, part 2: WISE goals
I am presenting to the world, the Dolderman Theory of Intrinsic Motivation. This is rooted in complex systems thinking, humanistic psychology, and modern integrative social-developmental neuroscience. But for now, let’s stick with the fun, useful part. My claim: WISE goals rule, especially for long-term happiness. They wipe the walls with those silly SMART goals we’re…
10.1) Important theory stuff if you’re skeptical about Intrinsic Motivation
I want to try to make as clear as I can, and briefly, just why Intrinsic motivation gets so much glory. Especially because it can sound idealistic and unconvincing, even cheesy. So we’ve gotta understand it. The core issue is the SOURCE of your motivations. Where do the motivations come from? Inside or outside? …
10) Ninja Training — Habit Change, part 1 (or how to stop “being a loser”)
Important Preamble: Let’s start off with a common understanding here. I am not some motivational guru. No way man, not even close. Here’s the thing –each person in life exists within, and indeed is formed out of, a karmic web of infinite cause and effect relationships, which interact dynamically through vastly complicated feedback loops that…
9) Stop trying to hit me. And hit me!
I love the ‘training montage’ moments in movies. Like martial arts movies, when the hero gets his (or, very rarely, her) butt kicked. Hard. Leaving the hero practically dead, washed up, hopeless, beaten and broken. Then some kind person helps the hero, nursing her back to health. And then, training montage time! That’s when all…