Hello Dear Reader, In an upcoming series of posts, I am going to explore the dynamics of the inner monster that seems to doom so many people to suffer lives of loneliness and limitation — Shame. As we go through these posts, we’ll explore where Shame comes from, what it feels like, how it…
Category: c) Trauma & healing
94) The Day I Saw My Future Unfold
I heard a story once about a girl whose parents were murdered right in front of her. She spent the rest of her life selflessly devoted to one person, with seemingly no will of her own. I knew a man once whose boyhood was robbed by war. He spent the rest of his life addicted…
93) How to Not Murder People, Stay Addicted, or Commit Suicide: Part 2 – The Representativeness Heuristic is Sus
The Representativeness Heuristic is at the heart of much of the shitty things we suffer from. Yep, to the extent that you, and those you care about, have struggled with relationship problems, addictions, emotional issues, and other crappy things, this BOOOOOORING sounding nerd-speak Representativeness Heuristic thingy probably has played a key role in that suffering.…
76) Dances with Wolves, Part2: Relationship patterns with Gas-lighters, Narcissists and Spiritual Predators
What happens when you do fall into the orbit of a Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing (WSC)? Well, keep in mind, there are many trajectories. No “one size fits all”. But let me try and describe some common patterns. We touched on some of this in Part 1, but it’s worth expanding on the details, and…
75) Dances with Wolves, Part 1: Gas-lighters, Narcissists, and Spiritual Predators
In the previous post, I talked about the Law of Attraction, and argued that it was easily weaponized, often wielded to terrible effects in relationships, and in particular, a weapon-of-choice for certain types of unhealthy, difficult kinds of personalities, the kinds of people who cause a disproportionate amount of the struggles and conflict that happen…
74) The Law of Attraction — A Favourite Weapon of Abusers
Ahhhh, the Law of Attraction, that oh-so-lovely-sounding exhortation to focus on the positive. Believe and you can achieve! After all, (Image from https://www.jackcanfield.com/blog/using-the-law-of-attraction/) If you meditate, for example, saying an uplifting phrase in your mind and imagining yourself bathed in a sphere of light, then youʼll be like her: (Image from https://www.jackcanfield.com/blog/using-the-law-of-attraction/) She sure looks…
66) Alpha-man, Beta-man, or Friendly Neighbourhood Alphabet-Man? Time to get “red-pilled” for real.
I am not an Alpha male. Nor would I want to be. I am also not a Beta male. Nor would I want to be. What other kind of “male” might there be than this limited dichotomy? Turns out there are Sigma, Delta, Gamma, and Omega males too. Probably some others. But I…
53) Dissociation, Part 2
So, let’s talk about dissociation. About how it takes over your life, without you completely realizing what’s going on. About how other people conclude all sorts of bad things about you. About how your life spirals out of control until you hit bottom. And about what happens when you do hit bottom. I am not…
52) Motherfuckin’ Dissociation
I’m going to swear a bit here. Well, a lot. So, heads up. Why? Why be so crass? Well — You know when you stub your toe? Or forget something and have to go back to your house for the third time that morning? Or you realize you emailed the dirty-joke to your boss,…
51) The strongest man I ever knew: A memorial
Dear Dad, I have some questions to ask you. I’ve asked most of them already, when you were alive. I’m sure you would remember those times; they were pretty heartfelt. But you were unable to answer them. I didn’t understand why, then, but I’m pretty sure I do now. I’ve done a lot of work…