Category: Trauma & healing

75) Dances with Wolves, Part 1: Gas-lighters, Narcissists, and Spiritual Predators

In the previous post, I talked about the Law of Attraction, and argued that it was easily weaponized, often wielded to terrible effects in relationships, and in particular, a weapon-of-choice for certain types of unhealthy, difficult kinds of personalities, the kinds of people who cause a disproportionate amount of the struggles and conflict that happen…

74) The Law of Attraction — A Favourite Weapon of Abusers

Ahhhh, the Law of Attraction, that oh-so-lovely-sounding exhortation to focus on the positive. Believe and you can achieve! After all, (Image from https://www.jackcanfield.com/blog/using-the-law-of-attraction/) If you meditate, for example, saying an uplifting phrase in your mind and imagining yourself bathed in a sphere of light, then youʼll be like her: (Image from https://www.jackcanfield.com/blog/using-the-law-of-attraction/) She sure looks…

53) Dissociation, Part 2

So, let’s talk about dissociation.  About how it takes over your life, without you completely realizing what’s going on.  About how other people conclude all sorts of bad things about you. About how your life spirals out of control until you hit bottom. And about what happens when you do hit bottom. I am not…

52) Motherfuckin’ Dissociation

I’m going to swear a bit here.  Well, a lot.  So, heads up.   Why?  Why be so crass? Well — You know when you stub your toe?  Or forget something and have to go back to your house for the third time that morning?  Or you realize you emailed the dirty-joke to your boss,…

51) The strongest man I ever knew: A memorial

Dear Dad, I have some questions to ask you.  I’ve asked most of them already, when you were alive.  I’m sure you would remember those times; they were pretty heartfelt.  But you were unable to answer them.  I didn’t understand why, then, but I’m pretty sure I do now.  I’ve done a lot of work…

50) Dirty Feet (TW: suicide, sexual assault)

(NOTE:  I realized recently that the author of this post is unspecified, and some people have thought it is me.  To be clear, this is a letter sent to me by someone who took my classes, and I thought I had commented that it was my “first guest post”, but clearly I didn’t here.  Sorry…

34) Less than half, and none of the important ones: Part 4

What are the solutions? Obviously, “get help”. But that’s kind of a cop-out. It’s not like therapists have a magic wand, and then, Healioso Instantantum!!, and Poof, you’re all better. Therapy isn’t magic. It’s hard work. A therapist is like a catalyst; they catalyze your own self-healing. But they can’t do it for you. So…

33) Less than half, and none of the important ones: Part 3

Another story, after a relationship ended. “She said she had made a list of all the qualities she wanted in a partner. At the end, she concluded, “he has less than half. And none of the important ones.” ……this was the end of my sanity, for a long time. I don’t know why.  I just…

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