Category: Trauma & healing

97) Dear Abuser,

“What is wrong with you? What is wrong with you? Jesus Christ, what the hell is WRONG with you?” Your words echo in my mind like a beaten child’s wails, their residue embedded in my tissues and tear ducts and neural networks like a terrorist sleeper cell living invisibly in the city they are Heaven-bent…

96) Abuse, Trauma, Shame, and Healing

Hello Dear Reader, In an upcoming series of posts, I am going to explore the dynamics of the inner monster that seems to doom so many people to suffer lives of loneliness and limitation — Shame.   As we go through these posts, we’ll explore where Shame comes from, what it feels like, how it…

94) The Day I Saw My Future Unfold

I heard a story once about a girl whose parents were murdered right in front of her. She spent the rest of her life selflessly devoted to one person, with seemingly no will of her own. I knew a man once whose boyhood was robbed by war. He spent the rest of his life addicted…

93) How to Not Murder People, Stay Addicted, or Commit Suicide: Part 2 – The Representativeness Heuristic is Sus

The Representativeness Heuristic is at the heart of much of the shitty things we suffer from.  Yep, to the extent that you, and those you care about, have struggled with relationship problems, addictions, emotional issues, and other crappy things, this BOOOOOORING sounding nerd-speak Representativeness Heuristic thingy probably has played a key role in that suffering.…

75) Dances with Wolves, Part 1: Gas-lighters, Narcissists, and Spiritual Predators

In the previous post, I talked about the Law of Attraction, and argued that it was easily weaponized, often wielded to terrible effects in relationships, and in particular, a weapon-of-choice for certain types of unhealthy, difficult kinds of personalities, the kinds of people who cause a disproportionate amount of the struggles and conflict that happen…

74) The Law of Attraction — A Favourite Weapon of Abusers

Ahhhh, the Law of Attraction, that oh-so-lovely-sounding exhortation to focus on the positive. Believe and you can achieve! After all, (Image from https://www.jackcanfield.com/blog/using-the-law-of-attraction/) If you meditate, for example, saying an uplifting phrase in your mind and imagining yourself bathed in a sphere of light, then youʼll be like her: (Image from https://www.jackcanfield.com/blog/using-the-law-of-attraction/) She sure looks…

53) Dissociation, Part 2

So, let’s talk about dissociation.  About how it takes over your life, without you completely realizing what’s going on.  About how other people conclude all sorts of bad things about you. About how your life spirals out of control until you hit bottom. And about what happens when you do hit bottom. I am not…

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