Author: dandolderman

99) From the River to the Sea

The tears didn’t come until I was walking home. I guess in order for the feelings to really surface, I had to get out of the noise and drumming, chanting and dancing, smiling faces, haunted but friendly eyes, and children, lots of children, more children (proportionally) than I have EVER seen at any protest or…

97) Dear Abuser,

“What is wrong with you? What is wrong with you? Jesus Christ, what the hell is WRONG with you?” Your words echo in my mind like a beaten child’s wails, their residue embedded in my tissues and tear ducts and neural networks like a terrorist sleeper cell living invisibly in the city they are Heaven-bent…

96) Abuse, Trauma, Shame, and Healing

Hello Dear Reader, In an upcoming series of posts, I am going to explore the dynamics of the inner monster that seems to doom so many people to suffer lives of loneliness and limitation — Shame.   As we go through these posts, we’ll explore where Shame comes from, what it feels like, how it…

95) Gratitude Day 9 – A Dead Raccoon

I drove home breathing in the stench of cooking viscera. I had swerved to miss it, but wouldn’t you know it, the cute, probably terrified little critter turned around and ran in the opposite direction.  So I swerved again, leaving black skid marks down the highway.   But, for some reason, it turned around again,…

94) The Day I Saw My Future Unfold

I heard a story once about a girl whose parents were murdered right in front of her. She spent the rest of her life selflessly devoted to one person, with seemingly no will of her own. I knew a man once whose boyhood was robbed by war. He spent the rest of his life addicted…

93) How to Not Murder People, Stay Addicted, or Commit Suicide: Part 2 – The Representativeness Heuristic is Sus

The Representativeness Heuristic is at the heart of much of the shitty things we suffer from.  Yep, to the extent that you, and those you care about, have struggled with relationship problems, addictions, emotional issues, and other crappy things, this BOOOOOORING sounding nerd-speak Representativeness Heuristic thingy probably has played a key role in that suffering.…

91) The great unraveling: A horror story of life on Earth

The article attached at the end of this is so beautifully, tragically, honestly written. I think about this all the time. My kids were raised with a beautiful first decade or so of life, falling in love with the natural world through hiking, camping, and of course David Attenborough documentaries. Now, as their second decade…

90) Gratitude Day 8: Loneliness

I am grateful for loneliness. It also sucks.  Being lonely isn’t exactly the kind of thing one yearns for generally.  Imagine the kid in grade 2, and the teacher, all gung ho to connect with the kids this year and REALLY give them a good educational, inspirational experience.   “So what do you want to…

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