“Purpose” seems to involve a lot of striving, searching, tearing down, opening up, trying, growing. It seems to involve a lot of self, of authenticity and humility, vulnerability and trust. And it seems to involve a lot of “other”, of succumbing to fear or of reaching out in love.
These are all stepping stones. Necessary perhaps, to get across the river. But what if you are the stones? And the river? And the other side you’re trying to reach? What if you just haven’t allowed that truth to blossom yet? Or it did once but now it has to blossom again?
According to a Coleman Barks’ rendering of a poem by Rumi, the Sufi mystic:
“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field.
I’ll meet you there.
When the soul lays down in that grass,
The world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase ‘each other’ doesn’t make any sense.”
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I’m going to share one more poem with you. But don’t read it with your eyes. Read it out loud. Slowly. Enunciate each word. Taste it. Feel it roll sensuously off your tongue, your lips kissing themselves. Imagine it as a lover, seducing you. Slowly.
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If you are ready to do this, to read it out loud, with your tongue, your lips, with time to absorb each caress….then continue! Enjoy.
The poem is by Mary Oliver.
The Swan
Did you too see it, drifting, all night, on the black river?
Did you see it in the morning, rising into the silvery air –
An armful of white blossoms,
A perfect commotion of silk and linen as it leaned
into the bondage of its wings; a snowbank, a bank of lilies,
Biting the air with its black beak?
Did you hear it, fluting and whistling
A shrill dark music – like the rain pelting the trees – like a waterfall
Knifing down the black ledges?
And did you see it, finally, just under the clouds –
A white cross streaming across the sky, its feet
Like black leaves, its wings Like the stretching light of the river?
And did you feel it, in your heart, how it pertained to everything?
And have you too finally figured out what beauty is for?
And have you changed your life?
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We do not need to achieve, or attain, or search for, or find Purpose. We just need to be Here, and the more fully we are in the presence of this moment, the more lucidly that Purpose makes itself known.
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Being
There are moments in life when you feel “Brain Dead,’ your mind stultified and numb. You’ve watched too many hours of TV, smoked too much weed, played too many video games, studied too much, talked too much, partied too much, socialized too much, even “did nothing” too much, your eyes vacant, half-closed.
You know that feeling?
And there are moments in life when you feel vivaciously alive. Your mind is sharp, playful, vibrating with curiousity, and you Flow from moment-to-moment, all in, nothing held back. Moments when you shine with enthusiasm, quiver with anticipation, eyes wide open.
You know that feeling?
There are moments in life when you feel Strong. Certain. Perhaps angry. You know EXACTLY what you believe, EXACTLY what you don’t want. Moments when your fists clench, your jaw clenches, your body is tense and prepared to destroy, or defend, to pounce or to punch. Your eyes are sharp, focused, straightforward, like a predator.
You know that feeling?
And there are moments in life when you feel Open. Uncertain, but it’s ok. Perhaps appreciative. Your eyes are all-encompassing as awe alchemically transforms you into wonder, playfulness, and connection.
You know that feeling?
There are moments in life when you shrink, shy away, withdraw, hunch over, hide your hands, avert your gaze, look down, choke back your words, give up, and avoid anything that might remind you that You are someone worth caring about. Your eyes often close.
You know that feeling?
And there are moments in life when you roar with laughter and your hands slap your legs or clap each other in wild abandon. There are moments when you sob breathlessly, you hug tightly, so tightly, and you want it to never, ever, ever end, your eyes squeezed shut, deluging tears.
You know those feelings?
And there are moments when you just Are. Silent. Centered. Spacious. Aware. The world is everything and nothing, and you are everything and nothing, and it is effortless and sublime, and gods pour out of you with every exhalation and galaxies pour into you with every inhalation, and energetic patterns pulsate everywhere for they ARE you and you ARE them, and every cell that comprises you knows it is every cell in everything, and you have always been, and always will be, and the eyes which open inside your chest have never been closed.
You know that feeling?